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The beginning of a new season, signals that one has ended. Such is the cycle of life. There are times when we are bounding with excitement and anticipation for a season to end and a new one to begin. At other times, we are literally dragging ourselves into a new season because the old one was a favorite -- a place of comfort and success. We often do not stop to reflect on how that old season started. We forget that we moved reluctantly into that old season when it was new, and fail to recognize our pattern. If you suffer with allergies, you are all too familiar with this concept. As Spring beckons you start to feel the beginning effects of seasonal allergies, and may likely begin to dread the upcoming weeks. While there are others who find renewed energy and purpose like the blossoming flowers. Thus is the dichotomy of life.
Regardless of where you fall in your response to the change of seasons, the fact is, the seasons are going to change, which means that change is necessary.
Here are a few life lessons that the seasons have taught me about change:
There is an appointed time for things to change.
Change takes time and is experienced differently by everyone.
Every seasonal change is different.
There is something beautiful to be found in every season.
Breaks are important.
As an education doctor (or, doctor of education), I see my role as serving others in whatever capacity I can in order to support their growth and development. What is the connection between seasons and being an Ed Doc? For me, everything.
There is an appointed time for change
No matter how tired winter may get of working from December to March (on this side of the world), it doesn't get to switch the time of its season. Could you image summer and winter deciding to change their "work" schedule? The ripple effect would be detrimental in more ways than I can list.
Life lesson: Wait for your appointed time for change. While waiting, be as excellent as you can be in your season. It's okay to have mixed emotions. Remember, bittersweet is a mix of bitter and sweet; both have their purpose.
Change takes time and is experienced differently by everyone
One day is not a season. There are some things that we would like to end quickly and others that we would like to be prolonged, but that is not in our control. We only get to determine our response to the changes that occur in our lives.
Seventeen years ago, my husband and I welcomed our first child -- a healthy baby boy. Sixteen months later (not planned!) we welcomed our second child -- a healthy baby girl. This perfect family season ended within four months.
Our firstborn was having developmental delays and eventually lost all of his verbal language. Therapy began and soon after he was diagnosed with mild autism. A few months after his diagnoses, we realized irregularities in our daughter's development, which prior to this point seemed to be on the fast track. She too lost all of her verbal language, and before her second birthday was diagnosed with moderate autism.
As an educator, I felt that I had failed my family somehow. My husband, on the other hand, dealt with his disappointment by being more intentional about his time with his family and delved into doing his best to complete the much-needed renovations that we were in the middle of doing on our home.
Life lesson: Be graceful to each other. The change of the season affects our sensitive areas differently and at different times.
There is something beautiful to be found in every season
Two children under four years old with unexpected developmental delays makes for a very dark season. But there is always something beautiful to be found in every season.
It became very apparent that our children had natural musical abilities (obviously from their father, who is an excellent musician!). Our daughter would play the dynamics for complex songs on the drums while singing them, even though her verbal language continued to be severely delayed. Our son was quite the drummer himself, and had a natural interest in reading (whew! at least one of them got something from me!).
Even in those dark days, there were sparks of light.
Life lesson: Look for the joy; it is present, but has to be found. Learning and growth takes place during our diligent search for joy.
Every seasonal change is different
Although life is a cycle of change, it is always accompanied by growth. There is movement downward and upward, inward and outward.
Our son was a reader through no real effort of my own. I was too overwhelmed with this prolonged season of change and darkness to have any organized routine that my training told me would benefit learning. But, we filled the house with as many books and learning toys that we could, and adjusted our mindset to their learning styles.
And the foliage began to change...not all at once, but color started to become visible.
In retrospect, I see that the color change was in my husband and I more than it was in our children. We became more connected to each other. We depended on each other more. We looked for joy. We hugged more. We checked in more. We talked to each other more. We balanced each other. I was able to go back to school for an advanced certification needed for my job, which then led to my doctorate degree. Growth downward and upward. Growth inward and outward.
Life lesson: Some seasonal changes are not visible outside of us, but experienced within us. We are the season change. We are going through the metamorphosis, and becoming a better version of ourself.
Breaks are important
Remember, your season is just that...your season. Don't compare yourself with anyone else. Breaks are important, but do not need to follow a specific formula. Only you know what kind of break you need in your season. Or sometimes, it takes someone who loves you and knows you well to help you figure out the kind of break you need.
My parents, in-laws, and extended family were very supportive during our seasons of change and darkness. My mother, in her wisdom and experience, knew the kind of break that we needed. She would often wash and comb our daughter's hair so that it lasted for at least a week. Then she would cook dinner for the kids. Who knew how much energy making dinner could take?! This was especially so as we were attempting to follow a gluten-free diet for the kids during a time when these products were not readily available and quite expensive.
Completing my doctorate degree took longer than planned. I had to pause during the process. This was challenging at first as I was a stickler for checklists and meeting deadlines. But the choice had to be made: my family and spiritual and emotional sanity; or the degree. Thankfully I chose the former. We came out on the other side of the break stronger and more connected.
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